Making friends can be challenging; here are some tips.
If you are in the market for friends, you need a friend. That might sound redundant, but not so much. See, when you are looking for a friend, there is an unmet emotional need inside you that you are trying to get met by someone else. This can lead to issues because you risk being annoying once you find that person who scratches that itch. That sounds harsh, but the other person isn't there for you. They are there for them. They are trying to get their own emotional needs met.
Still with me. Getting a friend has a lot to do with being the person who meets the other person's emotional needs. Who are these people who might be your friends? I started fresh, and we are going to stay that way. People want to be your friend because either you have something they want, or they also have no friends. Popular people, by definition, are hard to access friends, "popular," as in they don't need you.
Are their lousy friends vs. good friends? They certainly are. Proverbs 13:12 summarizes this topic nicely. Essentially, it says that a person who surrounds themselves with wise friends becomes wise, and a person who surrounds themselves with fools becomes a fool. Jim Rohn, a motivational speaker, says, "we are the average of the people we spend our time with." So as we choose these friends, we need to be conscious of the people we end up spending time with.
If you have made it this far, things get a little easier. Having friends with shared interests is very helpful. There is a social paradigm in which 1+1=3. That is, two people are greater than just the sum of the two individuals. This concept frequently plays out in healthy marriages or business partnerships.
Lastly, conflict. Great friends survive the battle. The best friendships are defined by the hard times they have made it through together as much as the good times.
I mentioned that friends want something from you. What can you give to people, so they become your friends? Money is not wise. Better ideas are quality time and attention; maybe they could borrow something, or maybe you could help them with something. Most of all, do things that you both enjoy together. People looking for friends are hoping to be no longer lonely. Help them not be lonely.
To summarize. Getting a friend starts by being willing to give of yourself to others, to find people who benefit from what you can give and who make you a better person.
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